"Just don't know what to do with myself"

So, I'm officially on maternity leave and am bored out of my mind! My house is clean and organized. Thank you Leslie! Bella's room is organized and set-up. I've arranged things probably 2-3 times each day. I always end up making it exactly the same as when I started. I could probably do some laundry, but what fun is there in doing that. I've been very tempted to go around to all the little baby boutiques and just "window shop" I absolutely love window shopping but most of the time fail to leave it at just that. I then spend the entire car ride home trying to figure out a way to justify to Joe why I had to spend $30 on a super cute hand knitted baby hat with a rhinestone bow that matches her christmas outfit. I did however manage to leave the mall yesterday with only 2 really ugly nursing bras,(there is nothing sexy about those bad-boys only industrial) passing up the clinique free gift. Oh and I got a crisp chicken burrito. Bad idea. I won't go there. So, yeah.

I bought stuff to make Rollo cookies, man they're so stinkin' good. All that caramel, chocolatey goodness wrapped up in a little peanut butter cookie ball. Makes my mouth water. I need to quickly think of some people to give some plates to before I make them. The recipe makes like 4 batches. I'll try baking my way out of boredom for ow.

I think next week I'll try and catch a matinee either "The Secret life of Bees" or "Nick and Norah's infinte Playlist" BTW One month until Twilight comes out! I'm so stinking stoked!!! I figure I'll have just enough time to go see the movie and chow down some quick food before my you knows are needed. Plus it'll be the first time Joemis left alone with Bella. It could be interesting.
Well, 12 more days!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Sunday

It was a pretty good weekend. My voice students had their recital yesterday and they all did such a good job. I'm very proud of them. My baby shower was last night. It was fun. My mom, Melissa and Leslie really did a wonderful job. I had a good time. I'm so grateful for all the wonderful gifts we received. This lil' lady definitely won't have to worry about clothing. We got some really cute outfits. One of the girls from my ward, Sarah, made this little bag full of little bows to go in Bella's hair. They're darling! There's all kinds of different designs and colors. I couldn't believe she took the time to sit down and tie them all! We were laughing because someone asked what to use to hold them in place, someone mentioned corn syrup and glue and Melissa said K-Y jelly...someone said that K-Y is not an adhedsive and we all busted up. My mom thought it was pretty funny. She had some choice jokes about it later. Ah, I love my mom. I was laughing because one time I found Cole (my nephew) after I'd put him in time out in my room covered in K-Y. He had dumped it all over his head and body. When I went to run and grab it from him he took off and his arm slipped right out of my hand because he was so slippery! I guess it did the job! I think everyone had a pretty good time. There was so much food left. Which was sort of okay because today was Ali's b-day and I just re-used it. Even still there was a lot left.
I hope she had a good b-day. She told me she wasn't going to do anythig for her birthday, just stay home and clean. So, I forced her to come over and have birthday dinner at my place. We don't get to eat dinner much with my parents so I was happy we could do it.

I'd been fighting a cold all week and of course yesterday of all days it won! I was feeling pretty miserable and tried to just perk up through the whole day. It's amazing what reverse psychology can do. Today I felt like absolute poop! I just hope that by tues. it'll pretty much be gone. I woke up at 3:30am because I couldn't breathe and sat down and ate some shower cake and some dipped strawberries. I had quite the little junk food feast. It was very gratifying.

Well, I'm going to go watch "Sleeping Beauty" with Joe and down some nighttime cold medicine and happily slip into a drug-induced sleep.
Bonsoir!

Our not so little baby!

Today I had an appt. at perinatology. Everything looked good on the ultrasound she's weighing in at 6 1/2 lbs 20 inch long! They said she's going to be a very "healthy" girl! We're expecting her to be around 7 1/2-8lbs. when I'm induced on the 30th. Her head measures about 2 weeks ahead of the growth schedule! Lucky me! It was like in the 98th percentile! I like to think that means she'll be very intelligent.
We got some really cute ultrasound pictures. They do it in 3-d so you can see everything very clearly. She has chubby, chubby cheeks. She's so darling! She has dimples in each cheek and on her chin and long eyelashes. Unfortunately, she did not inherit them from me. Joe has prettier eyelashes than me and it ticks me off! I'm getting really excited to meet this little girl. 3 weeks seems like such a long ways off but I know it'll be here before we know it. The Dr. said there's a possibility I could go into labor on my own before and she'd be fine based on her size and the amount of fetal breathing she's doing. I just might freak out if that's the case though. I'm such a control freak. Having it planned sounds pretty good to me!

I Love Fall!

I was so excited to be able to wear my wool peacoat yesterday! (granted it doesn't button right now) I'm so excited for all the leaves to change. It makes me miss living on the Park blocks downtown Portland. It's lined with MAple and Oak trees and their leaves turn a bright golden color. I loved it when the breeze blew because they'd all twirl to the ground. It was very poetic. Like a Robert Frost poem.
Yesterday was such a good day. Joe's work threw us a baby shower. It was so wonderful! I didn't even expect it to be such a big deal. We got so many gifts. I think we have a sleeper a day for 0-3 mos. size. She'll be stylin'! We got some really cute things. I had to laugh though. It was pretty easy to tell who didn't have kids or who hadn't been around babies because we got a few newborn summer outfits and they're so cute but she'll never wear them. My mom is throwing a baby shower this saturday, so I'm curious to see how many outfits she'll get. She will definitely not want for cute clothing!
It was good day at work as well. I'm making really good progress with my voice students. We have a recital this saturday. Unfortunately, it went from 9 performers to oh, 4! I don't care It will just be a little shorter than planned. Tomorrow I have an appt. at Perinatology. I'll find out all the details about the induction etc...I'm looking forward to that. I'm such a control freak when it comes to thigs like that. I have to know every little detail!
Well, Happy Fall!

Scary Day

Today we had a little scare. I was talking on the phone to my grandma and all of a sudden my heart started to beat really fast and I couldn't breathe. I started to have tunnel vision and every sound seemed about 50 miles away. I could feel my blood turn cold and the rest of my body get really clammy. Next thing I know I'm on the ground and Joe is calling my name. We went in to the doctor and everything checked out fine. She basically said that it's common late in pregnancy to get dizzy or fainting spell because the weight of the baby is pressing on your major arteries. Also, because you have a greater volume of blood flow it takes a little longer for it too circulate. Since Bella has dropped into my pelvis and her head (which by the way is of calculable size!) is pressing down on everything making this very common. So, basically I have to limit my driving which is going to be difficult. I'm also supposed to be off my feet as much as possible. This stresses me out because I still unpack the back of our house. My baby shower is Saturday and I need to clean! I would ask Joe to do all of this but, he's working so hard in school and has mid-terms next week. He's such a trooper. On a good note we took a bunch of stuff to Spanky's and got like $100 in consignment! I'm so stoked. They have this cute little Boppy swing for $40 that I want. Hopefully it's still there by the time we get our credit!
Well, I should do something productive. I hate Mon, Wed, and Thurs. Joe doesn't get home until after 9 I get so bored! Not to mention a little freaked. I'm such a drama queen. I watch way too much CSI! Maybe I'll sort through my 100 something pairs of shoes and decide which ones are going to Goodwill. Parting is such sweet sorrow!

Oh me of little faith

I am such a huge whiner! I'm sure Heavenly Father has a tally board for me and when I get there I think I'll be pretty embarassed. :) We received such a huge blessing yesterday. Joe ranked #1 in stats at work and the company hit their maximum goal so he will get a $1300 bonus on top of his paycheck at the end of this month. This is absolutely miraculous because this never happens! This is the 2nd time this year they've hit their goal. I'm glad I had to sweat a little bit. I learned a big lesson. I'm grateful for prayer and for a Father in Heaven who listens. I'm amazed that he's mindful of little me and my family amidst a world of billions of people. I'm reminded of the primary song "A Child's Prayer"
"Heavenly Father, are you really there? Do you hear and answer every child's prayer? Some say that Heaven is far away, but I feel it close around me as I pray..."
I'm so glad that we pay our tithing even when it's tough. I know we wouldn't receive any of these blessings if we didn't. I'm just grateful today. I got to go to lunch with my nephew RJ. I'm really glad I did. I hope it brightened his day. He brightened mine. I'm grateful to be a member of the church. It has shaped and molded my life into something that I never could've done by myself. I am blissfully happy and I have a perspective on life that I wish my family had. I have an awesome marriage and an amazing husband who takes his temple covenants seriously. He is such a blessing to my life. I don't tell him that often enough.
Well, I'm sitting her blubbering and I just put on eyeliner so, I'm signing off.

It's Taken me 8 1/2 mos.to freak out!

So, I finally freaked out!
I just felt so overwhelmed and unprepared yesterday! I was going over all the things we still need and adding up the dollar signs and felt like I got hit by a semi. How do people afford babies! I guess that's what showers and gift registries are for, but seriously who would've thought it cost so much to bring something so tiny into the world! This is really dumb, but, I was laying in bed after tossing and turning all night and the thought came: I can't just get up and have a bowl of cereal when I want to after the baby is born! Yeah, really stupid, but, it made me feel so nauseaous. AHHH.
I lay awake thinking what are we going to do when I'm on maternity leave for 3 mos. it's going to be so tight. Barely making it tight. I know deep down that Heavenly Father isn't going to let us sink, but, I still freak out. I know if someone else were telling me this I'd tell them have faith, pay your tithing and do your best and the Lord will make up what you can't. I guess it's easier said than done.
This is apparently my trial of faith. Heavenly Father is probably thinking, "Will you stop whining! It's getting annoying!"
Back to my day long pity party. I just pray that I'll be enough. That I'll be able to give her all of me. It's funny I totally thought I knew how to take care of a newborn I mean I've done it before. Somehow the fact that she's mine is seriously intimidating. I freaked out because I didn't know how warm I should dress her or which blankets were going to be either to cool or too warm! It's just the silliest things but I was seriously having a BAD DAY! I know in the end it will all work out and everything will fall into place.
For now I think I just need a really big piece of CHEESECAKE!