Grateful

I am so grateful for the priesthood and to be married to a worthy man who is able to excercise his priesthood whenever it is needed.

Bella's surgery is tomorrow. Over the past week I had been slowly falling to pieces. I would just lose it at the drop of a hat and start bawling hysterically! I keptm thinking of all the horrible, unimaginable "what-ifs".
What if they cut through an artery and she bleeds to death on the operating table. What-if a 4 1/2 hour surgery is too long to be under general anesthesia and she suffers brain damge, what-if they rupture her bladder....and on and on.

I keep hearing about people who go in for routine things and either end up dying or in critical condition in the ICU.

I have been a walking time bomb of stress. I can hardly look at Bella without tearing up.
It's been rough.

Well, the other night Joe and I were talking about all of this after I'd already sat and bawled hysterically on my couch for over an hour. I asked him to give me a priesthood blessing.

What a blessing indeed! I innediately felt comforted. I was assured that everything was going to be just fine and Bella would make it through the surgery with no problems or complications.

As I'm preparing all of our things for our hospital stay, I'm trying to remind myself over and over the words of the blessing. I don't know what I would do without the knowledge of the restores gospel and the knowledge that I have a loving father in heaven who is very much mindful of my little family here in Vancouver, WA

Past Few Weeks

The last few weeks have been INSANE! I seriously feel like someone stuck my head in a toilet and flushed it over and over! We've been super busy trying to get projects finsihed before Bella's surgery next week. Which btw we totally suck at! Ava's room is painted at least. Joe is going to refinish our hardwood floors while Bella and I live at Doernbechers. It should be interesting. We have absolutely no idea what we're doing. If anyone does and would like to help PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!

We went to the Harvest Festival at Sauvie Island over labor day weekend with Joe's parents. It was a lot of fun and Bella had a blast!

Anywho...we had Bella's pre-op appt last week and here's the low-down on her surgery:

The surgery itself will take about 4 hours. They have to either re-implant the extra ureter tubes into the bladder or create a new with the extra tubes. They won't know until they've started the surgery. They also need to remove a cyst from her right kidney and possibly remove the upper half of her left kidney. I KNOW right?!

She will have two systems of drainage tubes put in place. one internal (will be removed 6 weeks after) and one external (removed 2 weeks after) She will also have an epidural for 2 days after the surgery. They need her to be totally immobile so she doesn't rupture the sutures or the tubing. I have no idea how to explain to a 22 month old why she can only move from the waist up!!!!!!!

We'll be at the hospital for a minimum of 5 days. If we're lucky we'll get to go home the 27th...MY BIRTHDAY.  It's going to be a trying time, I'm sure I'll freak out and lose it a few times. But, I know it will all work out and it's for the best.

As for miss Ava, things are going really well. We have an ultrasound tomorrow. I'm curious to see how big she is. My midwife promised me she won't let me have bigger than an 8lb baby!

I am holding her to that! I'm carrying her really low. She is literally camped out on top of my cervix! Moms I know you can relate when I say that half the day I feel like my crotch is going to split in half. Sorry if that was a little too graphic but it's seriously the only way to describe it! I spend most days walking around like a cowboy! I'm getting excited to meet her and see her personality.if she's anything like Bella we are going to have our hands full..because let me tell you that girl is FULL of personality!