Surgery Number One

We're finally getting somewhere with Bella's kidney problems. Yesterday we went to OHSU to have a scan done of her kidneys. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. It took about an hour total. The one good thing about her having this IV line in her arm is that they didn't need to start an IV yesterday. They were able to draw blood from the PICC line. No needle pokes!

Today we went back and met with the Urologists thayt are treating her...funny tangent....so, It was time for Bella to nurse but I couldn't nurse her because they were coming in to look at her. So, my milk is coming in like crazy and soaked my nursing pads through and my shirt. I decided to change them. Well, right as I lift my shirt up and take down my bra one of the residents walks right in! I think he was more embarassed than I was. Leslie (Joe's mom) and I started cracking up!

Okay back to the serious stuff...It looks like her right kidney is doing fine but the left kidney is on its way tp shutting down in a nutshell. January 5th is her first surgery. It's kind of a "mini-surgery", I say that because they don't actually need to make an incision. Thank heavens! They will go in with a laser scope through hher bladder and poke a hole in the cyst. She'll have to stay in the hospital for one extra day as long as everything goes okay. Back to Doernbecher's we go. I feel unusually calm about it all. I'm confident that they know what they're doing and that Heavenly Father knows what's up. Besides, this is icing on the cake compared to the next few surgeries.

On a happy note...Christmas is in 2 days! Whoo-hoo! Joe let me open a present early last night...it was a Twilight Poster! He won't let me put it up in the living room! I told him I'm going to frame it and surround it with spotlights.

Here's some recent pictures of my bambina:

Her snow suit from Grammy. We call her a pink Ewok


My lil christmas elf!
" I look ridiculous! Get this hat off of me!"

"I SAID TAKE IT OFF!"

We got to come home

We finally got to come home last night. One of the nurses was concerned that we'd get stuck there if there was ahuge snow storm so they let us go home. It was an exhausting week.

This is what's going on:
At 4am wed. morning I went to get Bella to feed her. I knew she wasn't feeling well because all day tues. I had to wake her up to eat. This never happens. She wouldn't cry, she would only whimper. I called the Dr. that night she said just to watch her and check for fever. Well, wed morning before I even picked her up I could feel the heat radiating off her body. I took her temp it was 101. I called the nurse back she said get to the ER ASAP. So we did. When we got there her fever had spiked to 103. Very dangerous. She was pretty listless. They then spent two hours!!! Yes, two hours trying to get an IV in her arm. It was the worst thing ever. She screamed and screamed. They were diggin around with the needle trying to get it in her vein. She was so dehydrated that her vains were like limp noodles. I eventually lost it and broke down in sobs. Here's my tiny baby in pain and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it but sit and watch. They finally got the IV in and needed to cath her. Another hour of her screaming and me crying. Finally they called pediatrics. They were able to get the cath in but come to find out the stupid nurse that put her IV in didn't get it in the vein all the way and it blew her vein and fluid had filled up in her leg and foot. It was awful looking.

After almost 5 hours of trauma she just passed out on Joe's chest and whimpered in her sleep. They came back and told us that she had a severe kidney infection. Which is what we'd been featring since she was born. They rushed us to Doernbecher's children's hospital next to OHSU by ambulance before her kidney's failed. There we met with the team of pediatricians and the urologists and had a whole bunch of scans and ultrasounds done.

Basically her right kidney hasn't changed much since utereo. It has a cyst on it that prevents anything from coming or going. Her left kidney is the major problem. It is severely inflammed and backed up. The tissue surrounding it has signifigantly depleted and it's on its way to shutting down. The bad thing is that they can't do anything until this infection is cleared up. We have an appt. on Dec 22nd for a renal scan. They will inject dye in her kidneys to look at their functionaliy and then will know from there how to proceed. In the meantime she has a PICC line in her arm. This is an IV cather that is threaded into her arm and through her chest next to her heart. I have to give her antibiotics through it 3 times a day for two weeks. I never want to have to go through this ever again. It was absolutely heart wrenching to watch someone so tiny go through so much pain and stress and all I could do was watch. It just seems so unfair. I wish that I could trade her places. At the same time I know she ust be one heck of a fighter because I know Heaven;y Father wouldn't have given her this trial if she wasn't. I'm pretty sure my faith is the only one that needs some tweaking. Not hers.

Keep us in your prayers. We appreciate all the phone calls and emails that we've received. We have some pretty awesome people around us.

Bella Update

So we're at Doernbecher's children's hospital with Bella. She had to be admitted and transferred by ambulance this morning. Basically her kidneys are not working and she has a really bad infection. We're waiting to hear back from doc to find out about surgery. We could possibly come home sat. if not we'll be home Christmas eve. I'll update more later. I jmust wanted to let y'all know what's going on and why I might appear MIA for a while. Keep us in your prayers please.

I LOVE CHRISTMAS TIME!!!

This is my absolute favorite time of year! I love the smells, the sights, the sounds and the magical feeling that lingers in the air. We got our Christmas tree on monday and decorated it that night. I love walking into my living room and seeing it. It makes me smile. I was talking to my sister and parents about christmas and they're all so stressed about it. Mostly money concerns. It makes me sad because it should be the exact opposite. Hopefully I can do my best and cheer them all up. I feel like Will Farrell in the movie Elf, I just get so excited about christmas! We bought Bella a couple of christmas presents, It was very exciting! Granted, she could probably care less, but I'm stoked about them!

Thornton's Tree Farm

Speaking of Miss Bella...she's a month old! It was kind of sad in a way and exciting in another because she's starting recognize our faces and smile. She can lift her head up really well. She's just a doll! She's a rough couple of days though. The antibiotic she's on for her kidneys makes her tummy really upset. I've pulled a couple of 24-hour and once a 36 hour shift with her. The other night she would not stop crying. No matter what I did she just screamed. So, I put her in the car and we drove, eventually stopping at Target. I carried her around in the baby bjorn carrier until they closed. It was the only way she would sleep. Needless to say, when I got home I told Joe he owed me one heck of a back massage!

For the most part she's a really good baby. She loves music. I put on different kinds for her to listen to. Right now we're listening to Madeleine Peyroux. She tends to favor jazz.

This is Bella listening to Jazz

We're pretty stinkin' happy. My days have become much more simplified. I'm still getting used to not always being on the go. I'm sure it's for my own good. Plus, I love hanging out with Bella. I could sit and look at her all day. Our bedtime song is "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". I think I sang that song about 30 times yesterday. She never gets tired of it. She's my biggest fan! Life has changed significantly and it's pretty good. Joe just found out that he's graduating 6 mos. early. In a way it's a little scary for me because I was thinking we would move the summer or fall of '10. Now there's a chance we could be moving Dec. '09. We're either off to San Francisco or Minneapolis. I DO NOT want to move to Minneapolis in Dec. It's a good day if the temp. breaks positive integers! On the other hand I don't really want to live in San Fran. I love visiting but ti's sooo expensive. The cheapest apt. we found was $2500/mo we could buy a nice house on Lake Pryor in MN for that much money. Who knows...maybe we'll move to France! I would love that! La france me manque beacoup! Je veux courir dans les champs des coquilicots! I don't think I'm that lucky. I'm doomed to either lose various appendages to frost bite or worse get eaten by a moose in MN or Go bankrupt from spending all my money shopping in San Fran!

Hey wasn't this post supposed to be about Christmas! We're playing the Holy Family at Joe's parent's ward christmas pageant. Pretty cool. Hopefully Bella won't scream! We get to wear period costumes. How cool is that! Well, merry Christmas to everyone!

Oh glorious day!

So, this is probably going to sound really vain but today the most wondrous thing happened!

So, I'm getting dressed (even though it's 2pm) and am putting on some jeans when the thought occured to me...I went to my laundry basket and dug my pre-pregnancy jeans out of the bottom...I buried them after I tried them on two weeks ago and couldn't get them above my knees...and decided to temp the hand of fate and promised myself that I wouldn't cry if they never made it up...Well...I'll be darned those things went right up around my waist! I almost did cry but this time out of utter elation! Granted, I couldn't zip them. Fortunately, that wasn't one of the conditions. Size 2 here I come!
It's been a rough 2 1/2 weeks. every morning when I look in the mirror, I just want to puke! It's been getting better. I promised myself I wouldn't rip myself apart everyday. I have never been one to have very much patience. Joe is awesome, he's a very good liar. Whenever I ask hime if I look really fat :) Oh the woes of being female. If I was a guy this would probably be nothing!

Well on a better note...Twilight comes out tomorrow!!!! I am so stoked! I re-read the series this week in commemoration. It's amazing how giddy I still get the second time around. I keep having dreams that I'm having an affair with Edward Cullen. Weird! It's so easy to get wrapped up in their story. It's a good thing Bella sleeps pretty much all day. Otherwise, I'd feel pretty crappy. I did at least load the dishwasher in between chapters yesterday.

Well, I'm off to AT&T to return the stupid phone I got brand new on friday and doesn't work!!! I can't receive any calls or messages. It's been really annoying. So, if anyone reading this has tried to call me...Sorry. Call Joe's phone 360-901-2979 or call me later at my number!

We survived week one!

So, Bella is a week old. It makes me kind of sad. I wish she could stay this little forever. At the same time I'm excited for her to be old enough to get excited about things like zoo trips, ice cream...you know.

I hope I'm not counting my chikens before they hatch, but, she's a pretty easy baby. She never cries. She's got a pretty good routine going as far as eating and sleeping are concerned. She's just the happiest little girl. I love watching her face when she hears new sounds. Her eyes get so big and she draws her mouth into a pucker. She loves listening to music. So far we've experimented with: Brahms, Norah Jones, Twilight soundtrack, hymns on strings and Andy Williams christmas album. She's definitely starting to look more like Joe. Nose and all. We joked before she was born that she'd be good as long as she didn't have the Wilcox nose. Poor kid. We have a lot of fun together. I thought I would be stir crazy staying home all day by myself but it's not so bad. I'm actually pretty busy. I have a million projects that I started over the last year and am determined to finish them all.

It's been a pretty eventful week though despite my easy going bambina. I've learned some critical lessons that they don't tell you in birth class:

1.Baby poop has the same force as rocket missiles. I was changing Bella at 3 am and she literally shot poo across the room. I tried to catch it in my hand. (I know genius) It splattered all over me, the bassinet and the bed.

2.No matter how many times you look yourself over before leaving there's always a spot of spit-up, pee or poop somewhere on you! I was making pumpkin bars early one morning and discovered I didn't have any pumpkin. So, I decided to run to Safeway super fast and just threw on some jeans leaving my PJ top on. As I was walking into safeway I looked down and saw a huge streak of baby poop all down my shirt! Of course my milk had just come so my boobs are monster-sized and I couldn't even wrap my jacket around me. I felt officially initated into motherhood at that moment.

3.No matter how well you time it babies will always pee or poo the instant that clean diaper is on! I went through 70 diapers in a week!

4.Even a week after delivery you still look like you have a built-in personal flotation device around your middle. I haven't given up hope. Everyday I can pull my jeans up a little bit higher. We're about to the hips right now! Whoo-hoo!

5.Don't try and save money and buy the little box of nursing pads just go for the super value pack. I was at enrichment last week and kept feeling wet. I thought maybe it was fro the rain outside, that it had gotten on my sweater. As the evening continued I started to feely really wet. I thought Bella had leaked through her diaper onto my shirt. When I got home I discovered I had leaked all over myself. I was so embarassed. I have no idea how many people saw. There was a giant black circle on my shirt.

6. You will pass so much gas the first few days you'll even gross yourself out. Enough said on that one. I never thought I'd give my husband a run for his money!

7. Your hormones will not just be out of whack they will take over! So, Monday day after we got home. We had to go to Wal-Mart. I never realized how LOUD it is until I took my sleeping 3 day old there. I wanted to scream at every person that walked by us. I kept saying to Joe, I can't believe how loud they are, can't they see she's sleeping! Later, I was getting really frustrated because I couldn't find hand sanitizer! Joe said something to me, that I'm sure to the normal non-post-partum woman would've been pretty funny, but to me the sleep deprived hormonal whack job...I started to bawl! Right in the middle of the aisle! I tried to escape down the discount candy aisle so I could cry in peace but it was packed which made me cry even more! Finally Joe grabbed me and gave me a huge hug. There we were in the middle of housewares, me sobbing and Joe probably wondering who the heck he married!

So, yeah it's been wonderful having her home with us. We're totally those cheesy, over-the-top parents that you want to make fun of when you see them. We can't help ourselves. We just love her to death. I love watching Joe with her. I have fallen head over heels for him all over again. Every night when he comes he goes into peek on her (she's almostt always asleep) He sits and rocks her and talks to her about life. it so darling. Whenever she hears his voice she instantly turns her head to follow it. He always has to push the stroller or hold her when we're in public. He's smitten. This is her favorite thing to do with Joe
I call this her fairy princess dress

Isn't she darling!

Pictures of Bella

Isabella Grace Wilcox

So, here's a few more pictures.

such a proud daddy

We couldn't believe she only weighed 7lbs!

she has the sweetest cry

Bella's first bath

I love that face


Joe loves his baby!

So do I


She's perfect

Her newborn clothes are too big!



We're home!

Our beautiful Bella Bambina

Our beautiful Bella

Well we're finally home from the hospital. I am ecstatic to be home. What an extraordinary trip I've been on. So, I'll start from the beginning.

(My last pregnant picture)

Wednesday we got the results back from the amnio that everything was awesome and to head to St. Vincent's at midnight. So, I got everything packed and ready to go. Around 9 or so the labor nurse calls and says they're chock full of women in active labor and we need to come in at 7am. I was so crushed. Then decided to stay positive and went to bed.

Thursday morning bright and early we headed to the hospital. It was very surreal. We got to the hospital and got all checked in. It took a while to get everything going. They let me eat some breakfast and I was very happy. Joe and I played card games and wartched "Nightmare on Elm Street. At noon they finally started the pitocin! Whoo-hoo. I started having regular contractions within an hour. They started off relatively mild but, holy cow it did not take long for them to pick up.

The dr. broke water soon after and things really took off. I felt like 10 lbs lighter right after they broke my water. My contractions jumped up to every 2 min apart lasting about 45-60 seconds. I spent most of the time on my knees leaning against a chair in the shower. It was heaven. I was stuck at 5 cm forever so they upped the pitocin and suddenly my contractions were every minute. I was in excruciating pain. I wanted to wait as long as possible for an epidural by now it was 2 am and I was shaking so badly from the contractions that the whole bed was shaking with me. I only had 30 seconds between contractions and because I was shaking so badly and dry heaving the whole time I couldn't relax in between. I finally asked for an epidural. It was magical! I instantly fell asleep. They woke me up at about 5:30 to check me and I was finally 10 cm. dilated. It was time to push. I had them turn off the epidural and waited for it to wear off before I oushed. I wanted to be able to feel the urge to push and be a dead log.

Here comes the real work. 24 hours later and we're finaly pushing. I was utterly exhausted. I decided to use a mirror to see and I'm so glad I did. It helped me keep going. Joe was amazing all throughout labor. He was so encouraging and always holding my hand. He was right there with the midwife urging me on. Bella's head was stuck in my pelvis and maling its way by millimeters. By about 9:30AM I didn't think I had anything left in me. I could see her head but she wasn't moving. The contractions were doubly strong now. I just started crying and pushed even harder because I was so exhausted. Joe kept whispering in my ear, that I could do it and well....24 hours of hard labor and 4 hours of pushing later Our Bella was born at 10:20 AM weighing in at 7 lbs. even and 20 in. long! It wsa such an emotional moment. When they placed her on my stomach I just started bawling hysterically. I was so happy to finally hold her and feel her in my arms. She was just perfect. Joe couldn't stop staring at her. She knew his voice right away. I can tell she is definitely going to be a daddy's girl.

Whoo-Hoo!

So, I just got off the phone with the Kaiser nurse and she said the amnio results came back "beautiful". I am so excited and at the same time nervous. I keep dropping things and just flung fruity pebbles all over the computer.

The amnio went really well actually. I was surprised. I was fine when I first got in there and then I got really nervous...I thought I was going to puke. I started humming "A child's prayer" out loud to no avail. I still felt like I was about to pass out. The nurse asked if I wanted Leslie (my mother-in-law) to come in and I said "YES!" as soon as she came in I was fine. The needle didn't even hurt. What hurt the most was when they had to mark my stomach with a straw. Weird. I know. I hardly felt the needle go in. It took about 10 min. total.

So, now I play the waiting game to go to the hospital. We have to be there at midnight. I'll probably wash some more of her clothes and double check our bags. Most importantly I'll try not to be a nervous wreck and injure myself.

Next time I'm on here I'll have super cute pictures of my daughter!!!!!!

One more Day!!!

Tomorrow I am being induced!!! Well, hopefully. Assuming that the Amnio comes back positive for lung maturity. If all is well we go back tomorrow night for the induction! I'm pretty sure everything will come back fine. She's a big girl. They're guessing she'll weigh in at about 7 1/2-8lbs. I have a feeling we'll be taking back all of the newborn sized clothes we have.

I am so excited to not be pregnant anymore! Yesterday I broke down crying because I was so frustrated. Joe and I went on a breakfast picnic. First of all I had to sit on the ground because my pregnant body and my McDonald's platter didn't fit on the bench and I couldn't put it on my lap because I haven't been able to close my legs for a week now. Second, We were playing bocce ball and I couldn't bend over to pick up my balls, I had to wait for Joe. The icing on the cake was when we got home I went to shut the car door but forgot about my giant stomache and slammed the door into myself. So, here I am balling my eyes out in front of our house with the neighbors staring at me. All I can I could manage to say was "I don't want to be pregnant anymore" I cried for like 20 minutes. Then I started laughing hysterically because I realized how absolutely ridiculous the whole morning was. Thank you Elder Wirthlin for reminding me to laugh! Poor Joe has no idea what he got himself into.

It still hasn't hit me yet that I'm bringing home a baby this week. It all seems so surreal. I have no idea what it will be like. I'm way excited though. I've already got our first few little outings planned. I just can't wait to hold her and see what she looks like.
I've decided I'm going to brave it and use a viewing mirror to watch the birth. I figure it's a once in a lifetime thing and I might regret it later and if it's too gruesome I'll just have them whisk it away!
Hopefully next time I write on here I'll be writing about my beautiful daughter!

It's 5 AM and I am still awake! Not cool!

So, it's going on 5:30 and I've been awake since 1 something. I have the worst heartburn and upset stomache of my life! I finally broke down and went to Wal-Mart and bought some Maalox. Tums just weren't cutting it and all that's on TV are stupid infomercials. I figured I' do something productive.

I had a lightening fast appt. at perinatology on fri. I was a little irked because I drove all the way to Beaverton for a 15 mon. appt. The US tech was in such a hurry. She forgot to measure Bella. All they had to tell me was she looks fine. Well, duh! I already knew that! the day got progressively worse. I drove all the over to Lake Oswego to go to Babies R Us because we got a $10 gift card from them. Whoo-hoo, or so I thought. I spent an hour looking around and finally found the cutest little pair of shoes! I was so excited. When I got to the cash register the card wouldn't work. She called over someone else and they said "Oh, this gift card expired in Aug." first of all, how does a gift card expire?! The first cashier said "Oh, we'll just override it" the second one said "No, that's not possible, it's expired" I couldn't believe it. We just had the baby shower and they knew that, which was why they sent us the card! The second cashier (the mean one) said, "If you want to buy everything off of your registry we'll give you 10%off" I said: No thank you! I live in Vancouver and drove all the way over here and am never coming back. Then....I went to Arby's to console myself and dripped Arby's sauce all over my pashmina wrap and white shirt! I just wanted to cry!

Okay, so that was me venting from 3 days of pent up anger....on to something else. Today was pretty good. I went "super saturday" and hung out w/ the girls. It was nice. I need to do that more often. I feel like I have no girlfriends. Since Jill moved to Utah and we got married, I feel like such a loner. It was nice to sit and socialize. I love Joe to death, but sometimes I just need some girl talk!
I am so ready to have this baby. I was pleading with Heavenly Father earlier to just make something happen! Apparently, the whole thy will not mine still stands. 'Cause I'm still PREGNANT!!!!!
I think I'm so tired I'm just rambling deliriously. I'm going to force myself to try and sleep. for the last few saturdays something has come up and I can't make it through even an hour of church.

My husband!

I stole this from Katie Jensen. I thought it was cute. Since Joe is such a quiet guy I thought I'd share a little about him

1. What is his name? Joseph Pierce Wilcox

2. Who eats more? It depends on the food. Junk:me by a landslide. Chips: Definitely Joe

3. Who said I love you first? He did when we were in the temple. I thought I was going to have to perform CPR

4. Who is taller? lol...Joe by a foot!
5. Who is smarter? math, business stuff Joe. Anything artsy or english ME

6. Who is more sensitive?actually I think we're pretty dead even

7.Who does the laundry?Me, I hate folding it so Joe usually folds

8. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? for now Joe. The left side is closer to the bathroom

9. Who pays the bills? We both do. It depends on who remembers first

10. Who cooks more?HA! Yeah, That would be me. Joe did put baked potatoes in the oven

11. What meals do you cook together? breakfast

12. Who is more stubborn? Me. I blame my Irish heritage

13. Who is the first to admit they're wrong? Usually me

14. Who has more siblings? Joe

15. Who wears the pants in the relationship? I don't mean to but I usually take over

16. What do you like to do together? We play games a lot. We love hiking, sightseeing, playing bocce ball, we watch a lot of movies

17. Who eats more sweets? I am definitely the junk food junkie

18. Guilty pleasures? Chips and salsa. I've never seen anyone consume as many bags of Chips as Joe. It's amazing!

19. How did you meet? YSA beach trip. A big group went camping and Joe was wearing a funny looking peruvian hat. We didn't actually start hanging out for like 6 mos. later after a night of Karaoke and table football. I kicked his trash.

20. Who asked who out first? I'm not sure. We hung out all the time. He kissed me one night and then we decided to go on an actual date. A little backwards

21. Who kissed who first? lol...it's pretty funny. We were watching Nacho Libre, chilling on the love sack and he brought out OJ in wine glasses. We started talking and mid-sentence...Wham! He kissed me. It was so sloppy because my mouth was wide open from talking! I started laughing hysterically!

22. Who proposed? He did. We were swimming in the washougal river and he dove down to get a "rock" and came up and proposed.

23. His best features? Joe has the kindest eyes of anyone I've ever met. They make me melt

24. What is his greatest quality? Joe has a huge heart. He can make friends with anyone and he always makes sure the "underdog" is taken care of. He doesn't judge people on outward appearances. He gives everyone a fair chance.

25. Tag? All you ladies...tell us about your hubby- because we all know that they don't update the blogs.

This ball is rollin'

Well, things are definitely moving along. I've been having contractions since saturday. They started saturday night and were pretty regular for about 3 hours. As soon as I started to get our bags in the car, and yes, fixed my make-up (gotta look cute), they stopped. I had them all day Sunday but they weren't strong enough so we just chilled and played games with Joe's parents. Yesterday, they were definitely stronger but much more sporadic. Today it's been about the same.

I went to the Dr. today and she said I'm 2 cm dilated! Whoo-hoo! I was going to be pretty mad if after all that work and discomfort nothing had happened, My cervix has 2 cm left to go to be completely shortened. Bella's head isn't fully engaged in my pelvis yet. She's about halfway there. There's a very good chance that I could go into labor on my own before the induction!

If this little girl decides she'd rather wait, we've scheduled the induction for the 29th. I have an amnio scheduled that morning and assuming everything comes back okay we'll go back at midnight to start the induction. I may not need pitocin since I'm already dilated and I've lost my mucus plug. If i don't need it all they will do is break my water.

I'm pretty stoked! I'm definitely done being pregnant. I just want to wear normal clothes again! I'm so ready to try all of Bella's adorable clothes on her! I found the cutest shoes for her. I am so excited!

This is a 3-D image of Bella's face. You can see her nose and mouth.

"Just don't know what to do with myself"

So, I'm officially on maternity leave and am bored out of my mind! My house is clean and organized. Thank you Leslie! Bella's room is organized and set-up. I've arranged things probably 2-3 times each day. I always end up making it exactly the same as when I started. I could probably do some laundry, but what fun is there in doing that. I've been very tempted to go around to all the little baby boutiques and just "window shop" I absolutely love window shopping but most of the time fail to leave it at just that. I then spend the entire car ride home trying to figure out a way to justify to Joe why I had to spend $30 on a super cute hand knitted baby hat with a rhinestone bow that matches her christmas outfit. I did however manage to leave the mall yesterday with only 2 really ugly nursing bras,(there is nothing sexy about those bad-boys only industrial) passing up the clinique free gift. Oh and I got a crisp chicken burrito. Bad idea. I won't go there. So, yeah.

I bought stuff to make Rollo cookies, man they're so stinkin' good. All that caramel, chocolatey goodness wrapped up in a little peanut butter cookie ball. Makes my mouth water. I need to quickly think of some people to give some plates to before I make them. The recipe makes like 4 batches. I'll try baking my way out of boredom for ow.

I think next week I'll try and catch a matinee either "The Secret life of Bees" or "Nick and Norah's infinte Playlist" BTW One month until Twilight comes out! I'm so stinking stoked!!! I figure I'll have just enough time to go see the movie and chow down some quick food before my you knows are needed. Plus it'll be the first time Joemis left alone with Bella. It could be interesting.
Well, 12 more days!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Sunday

It was a pretty good weekend. My voice students had their recital yesterday and they all did such a good job. I'm very proud of them. My baby shower was last night. It was fun. My mom, Melissa and Leslie really did a wonderful job. I had a good time. I'm so grateful for all the wonderful gifts we received. This lil' lady definitely won't have to worry about clothing. We got some really cute outfits. One of the girls from my ward, Sarah, made this little bag full of little bows to go in Bella's hair. They're darling! There's all kinds of different designs and colors. I couldn't believe she took the time to sit down and tie them all! We were laughing because someone asked what to use to hold them in place, someone mentioned corn syrup and glue and Melissa said K-Y jelly...someone said that K-Y is not an adhedsive and we all busted up. My mom thought it was pretty funny. She had some choice jokes about it later. Ah, I love my mom. I was laughing because one time I found Cole (my nephew) after I'd put him in time out in my room covered in K-Y. He had dumped it all over his head and body. When I went to run and grab it from him he took off and his arm slipped right out of my hand because he was so slippery! I guess it did the job! I think everyone had a pretty good time. There was so much food left. Which was sort of okay because today was Ali's b-day and I just re-used it. Even still there was a lot left.
I hope she had a good b-day. She told me she wasn't going to do anythig for her birthday, just stay home and clean. So, I forced her to come over and have birthday dinner at my place. We don't get to eat dinner much with my parents so I was happy we could do it.

I'd been fighting a cold all week and of course yesterday of all days it won! I was feeling pretty miserable and tried to just perk up through the whole day. It's amazing what reverse psychology can do. Today I felt like absolute poop! I just hope that by tues. it'll pretty much be gone. I woke up at 3:30am because I couldn't breathe and sat down and ate some shower cake and some dipped strawberries. I had quite the little junk food feast. It was very gratifying.

Well, I'm going to go watch "Sleeping Beauty" with Joe and down some nighttime cold medicine and happily slip into a drug-induced sleep.
Bonsoir!

Our not so little baby!

Today I had an appt. at perinatology. Everything looked good on the ultrasound she's weighing in at 6 1/2 lbs 20 inch long! They said she's going to be a very "healthy" girl! We're expecting her to be around 7 1/2-8lbs. when I'm induced on the 30th. Her head measures about 2 weeks ahead of the growth schedule! Lucky me! It was like in the 98th percentile! I like to think that means she'll be very intelligent.
We got some really cute ultrasound pictures. They do it in 3-d so you can see everything very clearly. She has chubby, chubby cheeks. She's so darling! She has dimples in each cheek and on her chin and long eyelashes. Unfortunately, she did not inherit them from me. Joe has prettier eyelashes than me and it ticks me off! I'm getting really excited to meet this little girl. 3 weeks seems like such a long ways off but I know it'll be here before we know it. The Dr. said there's a possibility I could go into labor on my own before and she'd be fine based on her size and the amount of fetal breathing she's doing. I just might freak out if that's the case though. I'm such a control freak. Having it planned sounds pretty good to me!

I Love Fall!

I was so excited to be able to wear my wool peacoat yesterday! (granted it doesn't button right now) I'm so excited for all the leaves to change. It makes me miss living on the Park blocks downtown Portland. It's lined with MAple and Oak trees and their leaves turn a bright golden color. I loved it when the breeze blew because they'd all twirl to the ground. It was very poetic. Like a Robert Frost poem.
Yesterday was such a good day. Joe's work threw us a baby shower. It was so wonderful! I didn't even expect it to be such a big deal. We got so many gifts. I think we have a sleeper a day for 0-3 mos. size. She'll be stylin'! We got some really cute things. I had to laugh though. It was pretty easy to tell who didn't have kids or who hadn't been around babies because we got a few newborn summer outfits and they're so cute but she'll never wear them. My mom is throwing a baby shower this saturday, so I'm curious to see how many outfits she'll get. She will definitely not want for cute clothing!
It was good day at work as well. I'm making really good progress with my voice students. We have a recital this saturday. Unfortunately, it went from 9 performers to oh, 4! I don't care It will just be a little shorter than planned. Tomorrow I have an appt. at Perinatology. I'll find out all the details about the induction etc...I'm looking forward to that. I'm such a control freak when it comes to thigs like that. I have to know every little detail!
Well, Happy Fall!

Scary Day

Today we had a little scare. I was talking on the phone to my grandma and all of a sudden my heart started to beat really fast and I couldn't breathe. I started to have tunnel vision and every sound seemed about 50 miles away. I could feel my blood turn cold and the rest of my body get really clammy. Next thing I know I'm on the ground and Joe is calling my name. We went in to the doctor and everything checked out fine. She basically said that it's common late in pregnancy to get dizzy or fainting spell because the weight of the baby is pressing on your major arteries. Also, because you have a greater volume of blood flow it takes a little longer for it too circulate. Since Bella has dropped into my pelvis and her head (which by the way is of calculable size!) is pressing down on everything making this very common. So, basically I have to limit my driving which is going to be difficult. I'm also supposed to be off my feet as much as possible. This stresses me out because I still unpack the back of our house. My baby shower is Saturday and I need to clean! I would ask Joe to do all of this but, he's working so hard in school and has mid-terms next week. He's such a trooper. On a good note we took a bunch of stuff to Spanky's and got like $100 in consignment! I'm so stoked. They have this cute little Boppy swing for $40 that I want. Hopefully it's still there by the time we get our credit!
Well, I should do something productive. I hate Mon, Wed, and Thurs. Joe doesn't get home until after 9 I get so bored! Not to mention a little freaked. I'm such a drama queen. I watch way too much CSI! Maybe I'll sort through my 100 something pairs of shoes and decide which ones are going to Goodwill. Parting is such sweet sorrow!

Oh me of little faith

I am such a huge whiner! I'm sure Heavenly Father has a tally board for me and when I get there I think I'll be pretty embarassed. :) We received such a huge blessing yesterday. Joe ranked #1 in stats at work and the company hit their maximum goal so he will get a $1300 bonus on top of his paycheck at the end of this month. This is absolutely miraculous because this never happens! This is the 2nd time this year they've hit their goal. I'm glad I had to sweat a little bit. I learned a big lesson. I'm grateful for prayer and for a Father in Heaven who listens. I'm amazed that he's mindful of little me and my family amidst a world of billions of people. I'm reminded of the primary song "A Child's Prayer"
"Heavenly Father, are you really there? Do you hear and answer every child's prayer? Some say that Heaven is far away, but I feel it close around me as I pray..."
I'm so glad that we pay our tithing even when it's tough. I know we wouldn't receive any of these blessings if we didn't. I'm just grateful today. I got to go to lunch with my nephew RJ. I'm really glad I did. I hope it brightened his day. He brightened mine. I'm grateful to be a member of the church. It has shaped and molded my life into something that I never could've done by myself. I am blissfully happy and I have a perspective on life that I wish my family had. I have an awesome marriage and an amazing husband who takes his temple covenants seriously. He is such a blessing to my life. I don't tell him that often enough.
Well, I'm sitting her blubbering and I just put on eyeliner so, I'm signing off.

It's Taken me 8 1/2 mos.to freak out!

So, I finally freaked out!
I just felt so overwhelmed and unprepared yesterday! I was going over all the things we still need and adding up the dollar signs and felt like I got hit by a semi. How do people afford babies! I guess that's what showers and gift registries are for, but seriously who would've thought it cost so much to bring something so tiny into the world! This is really dumb, but, I was laying in bed after tossing and turning all night and the thought came: I can't just get up and have a bowl of cereal when I want to after the baby is born! Yeah, really stupid, but, it made me feel so nauseaous. AHHH.
I lay awake thinking what are we going to do when I'm on maternity leave for 3 mos. it's going to be so tight. Barely making it tight. I know deep down that Heavenly Father isn't going to let us sink, but, I still freak out. I know if someone else were telling me this I'd tell them have faith, pay your tithing and do your best and the Lord will make up what you can't. I guess it's easier said than done.
This is apparently my trial of faith. Heavenly Father is probably thinking, "Will you stop whining! It's getting annoying!"
Back to my day long pity party. I just pray that I'll be enough. That I'll be able to give her all of me. It's funny I totally thought I knew how to take care of a newborn I mean I've done it before. Somehow the fact that she's mine is seriously intimidating. I freaked out because I didn't know how warm I should dress her or which blankets were going to be either to cool or too warm! It's just the silliest things but I was seriously having a BAD DAY! I know in the end it will all work out and everything will fall into place.
For now I think I just need a really big piece of CHEESECAKE!

Happy Birthday to me!

Saturday was my birthday. I had a pretty good day. Friday I got my hair colored at the Aveda Institute! I am now a huge fan! What would've cost $125 only cost $55! It even looks really good! I went and got a massage courtesy of Ma & Pa Wilcox. Oh man, it was awesome! The therpaist lives right next to St. Vincent's (our birth center) she said she'd come for free and massage me while I was in labor! Heck yeah!
After that I came home to meet Joe and he had made me a "Starcrunch" cake w/ candles and everything! It was really sweet. Then we headed off to Portland. We went to the Farmer's market and I was going to get flowers but we forgot that we rode the max in from Lloyd Center. They wouldn't have survived the day :( Let's see...we went to this pottery place and painted a bowl together. They fire it for you and you go back and pick it up. I was pretty impressed with our artistic abilities. Then we went and got yummy mexican food and watched "Nights in Rodanthe" it was okay...definitely not as good as the "Notebook" you can't beat that steamy kiss on the pier in the rain. C'mon every girl wants to be kissed like that!
Then we got cake at Rose's and came home. It was a pretty good day.

Halloween Baby!

So, I just got off the phone with perinatology. They've scheduled an amniocentesis for Oct. 29th. to test her lung maturity. I'm not looking forward to this. They stick a GIANT yes giant needle into my stomache and draw out amniotic fluid to be tested. Well, did I mention that I have an extreme anxiety about needles. I've been gettin used to these little ones to draw blood etc... well this one is huge and I'll be looking straight at it. Even worse, Joe can't be there. His mom is hopefully coming with me. I guess I should start with the positive now... If everything checks out okay (it takes up to 5 hrs. to get the results back) I'll be induced the next day (the 30th)

I'm kind of freaking out because we still have so much to do around the house! I still have boxes unpacked and it's just cluttered! There are still so many things that we need. I'm hoping we'll get the essentials at our baby shower. I'm excited to finally meet her. I want to know what color hair she has, who she looks like. I'm anxious to see her personality. Hopefully she's not as ornery as her mom!

It still seems surreal to me that we're having a baby! just a year ago I had my opera career mapped out. I knew which internships I was applying for, which voice coach I would use. Strangely enough, that doesn't matter anymore. That is weird to me. I figure if it's going to happen it will. Just on a little different time schedule. Who knows Bella might love opera and love coming to rehearsals.

Random Belly Pics

Surprise!

So, today we found out that I'm going to be induced the last week of October. (I'll be 38 wks) At 37 weeks I'll have an amniocentesis to double check that her lungs are mature. For now that's the plan. I'm going to deliver at Providence St. Vincent in Beaverton. I'm not too thrilled about that fact. It's kind of hard because I have in my mind that I'm delivering at Southwest. I know exactly what their facilities look like, I know their procedures, what they give you to take home. So, now I have to adjust. I guess those are all insignificant things. They want me to deliver at St. Vincent's because all the specialists are there.

We also, met with the urologist and he said that she will definitely need surgery. 1 or 2 weeks after she's bion we'll go to OHSU and they'll inject dye in her kidneys and be able to see exactly what's going on and from there we'll know when and what kind of surgery she'll have. It was a lot of information. We were there for 4 hours! I'm definitely feeling overwhelmed and a little unprepared. AAAAAHHHH! Everything will work out. It's just stressful.

My first blog!

So, after years of hearing about blogs and everything I finally decided to start one. I really have no idea what to put on this bad boy. Hopefully my life is interesting enough to have something to write! Today was a good day. The lesson in Relief Society was really good. It was on Revelation and sustaining the modern day prophet. I'm grateful that we have a prophet to guide and direct us. We don't have to question God's will for his people. Especially with the world in the state it's in, do we need a worthy man with the authority from God to lead and guide us. Mine and Joe's parents came over for dinner it was great. I made pot roast and a strawberry tart all form scratch and it actually tasted pretty dang awesome! I'm glad my parents came. They need lots of sunshine in their lives right now. I wish they would accept the gospel! We went over to Jesse and Josh's for Josh's b-day. It was a good time. It felt good to sit and talk with girls my age! Since we've been married it's been hard at times not having constant girlfriends around. So yeah, I'm signing off because this pregnant lady is exhausted!