Rollercoaster Pregnancy

This pregnancy has been one big emotional roller coaster! It's finally starting to get better! I spent a good 8 weeks wondering everyday if we were going to lose our baby. You can probably guess that I didn't sleep very much. I found out about two months go that my placenta was almost covering my cervix. If it stayed that way I would have to have a C-section. No bueno. I've been freaking out about that. Today we had an ultrasound at Perinatology to check things out. We got nothing but good news. It was a huge relief! My placenta has moved up high, no need to even worry about C-sections and the hematoma (blood clot) that had formed after all the hemorrhaging has started to diminish and Ava is perfectly normal and healthy and not as big as Bella was! I've also been freaking out about her size! Bella was destined to be a 9 1/2lbs. baby! The doctors were worried about Ava's size because I have such a narrow pelvic opening. So far things look good. I sure hope so since I'm planning on an au natural water birth!

Now I just need to get through Bella's surgery! I dread it every day! I look at her and my heart aches at what I know she has to go through. It was easier (I say that very lightly) when she was younger and not as aware of her surroundings. I constantly think about how I'm going to explain things to her so she'll understand. I know it's for the best and the only solution but I still wish it didn't have to happen.

So, there you have it.